Separation & Divorce

          I may be wrong but I stand to be corrected. It is my humble opinion to observe that besides Hollywood stars and their ilk all over the world, the diplomatic service tends to boost of the highest incidence of separation and divorce in all known professions.
          In my over three decades of service as a diplomat, I have seen it happen over and over again and it is still happening. But why is it so rampant? I would not necessarily wish to dwell in analyzing the character of the diplomat and their spouses as the root of the problem as it could be arguable and complicated. I would rather choose to make my observations from a different perspective.
          It is my candid view that the nature of the job has a significant role to play. Diplomatic life is a complex web and the actors more often than not find themselves entangled in the intricacies of the web.
          The glamour, exposure and the unceasing social interactions like with the film stars create conducive environments that breed separation and eventual divorce. Loneliness and frustrations inherent in a culture shock that emanates by living in an unfamiliar country could be serious and may lead to psychological stress. At times the erroneous impression of the seeming affluence resulting from the life style of the diplomat could be the catalyst.
          Social differences in education, status and background of the spouses, family pressures especially of diplomats from developing countries, unfulfilled expectations and promises, could also be contributory factors. There really is no end to these issues and while similar circumstances may also be applicable to other professions, they are catastrophic for the diplomat by virtue of a combination of these factors.
          It is most unfortunate that a diplomat, whose job entails complicated as well as routine state matters, is confronted with such personal and family matters. Oftentimes it is bitter, confrontational, occasionally violent, acrimonious and replete with litigations. As it affects emotions, sentiments and the psyche of the victims, one cannot but wonder how much of a negative impact such situations impinge on the performance of the diplomats.
          Is there a way out of this ugly scenario?

Published on August 21, 2008 at 11:16 am  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Being the child of a diplomatic family in the same scenario, I completely agree with you.

    The children take the full brunt of this separation, especially when they become estranged from one of their parents because they have been forced to “choose sides”.
    I know that my future lifestyle will be an international one, because of the nature of the job I’m aiming to pursue. It is a priviledge to be able to travel the world, and it should bring added value to relationships, not painful sacrifice.

    This is why I’ve resolved that the three most important things in my marriage will be: loyalty, maturity and understanding.

  2. Hello!
    Very Interesting post! Thank you for such interesting resource!
    PS: Sorry for my bad english, I’v just started to learn this language 😉
    See you!
    Your, Raiul Baztepo


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